The Bro Code
by MakaMaka
Summary: "Three words man: THE BRO CODE." Souji's internal debate on whether or not to date Naoto Shirogane with liberal input from the angel guy and the devil guy. Rated for language. Inspired by Barney Stinson, true story.


AN: Written during late night madness at 3 A.M. after How I Met Your Mother marathon so yeah...

Complete crack so I apologize beforehand for any OOC-ness and offense bros or guys in general may find... I'm a girl! Cut me some slack!

**Inspired by The Bro Code by Barney Stinson with Matt Kuhn.  
**

**Dedicated to Barney Stinson, bro of bros, bro-est of them all, bro-er than you Brosuke.**

* * *

**Fortune's Social Link Rank 8**

Naoto trembled, practically radiating anger.

"Why…?!"

Suddenly time seemed to freeze. A daily occurrence by now and while Souji had been alarmed (he freaked out) the first time it occurred, now it only brought a smile to his face.

- Because I love you.

- Because we're friends.

Hmm... relationship choices. Decisions, decisions…

A miniature Souji dressed in a devilish black tuxedo, sporting black devil wings and horns popped into existence above his left shoulder.

"Now's your chance!" Devil-Souji crowed. "Do it! Tell her you love her!"

Tell her he loved her? Why?

"To get with her, duh." Devil-Souji rolled his eyes. "Why the hell else?"

… So… he didn't love her.

"Ehh… maybe. Her social link was pretty cool but Yukiko and Chie's was cuter." Devil-Souji said, nodding to himself. "But why does that matter. She's cute; what more could you want?"

…

"Come on!" Devil-Souji whined, gesturing wildly towards a fuming Naoto. "Look at that! Don't tell me you wouldn't mind hitting _that_."

… He did have a point. She was pretty cute, even when she looked about ready to pistol whip him, and he was interested in seeing whether those mysterious measurements were true or not. Rise had planted some very interesting images in his mind…

- Because I love you. **{**

- Because we're friends.

"No, what the hell?!" A miniature Souji dressed in a white suit appeared over his right shoulder, complete with white angel wings and a shining halo. "That's Naoto!"

Devil-Souji looked put out. "What the hell are you doing here?" he growled.

"Providing common sense." Angel-Souji deadpanned.

"What the hell does common sense have to do with anything?"

"Everything."

"Like summoning demons out of your mind and going through TVs needs common sense." Devil-Souji raised a brow. "Or raising social links for stronger personas?"

"Doesn't matter." Angel-Souji shook his head. "You're the MC; having common sense is mandatory in everything you do."

Yes, but what does that-

"EVERYTHING."

… That is true. Perhaps he should think things through before-

- Because I love you.

- Because we're friends. **{**

"Screw that! I say GET THE GIRL." Devil-Souji interrupted.

"You've known her for a month." Angel-Souji narrowed his eyes. "A MONTH."

And what a month…

"Screw that; she's cute. Besides," Devil-Souji smirked, a sly glint in his golden eyes. "I have insider info that she'll dress like a girl if we play our cards right~"

Angel-Souji blinked eyes wide.

- Because I love you. **{**

- Because we're friends.

Angel-Souji shook his head, dazed. "S-so?"

"Yasogami Girl's Winter Uniform."

Damn.

Angel-Souji was getting red now. "T-that, that doesn't-"

"A skirt means legs. And breasts; she can't bind her chest while wearing that can she~?" Devil-Souji smirked, his pointed tail swishing like a cat's.

- Because I love you. **{**

- Because we're friends.

"N-NO!" Angel-Souji shouted, clearly distressed. "Yosuke, help me out!"

A miniature Yosuke dressed in white with the same wings and halo, complete with the same free and happy grin as the original Yosuke, appeared next to Angel-Souji. "Yo! What's up?"

"I need your help!"

Angel-Yosuke blinked, taken aback. "Uh, sure. What do you need?"

"He wants to confess to Naoto!"

Angel-Yosuke stared at Angel-Souji, aghast. "DUDE! What the hell?" he shouted at Devil-Souji angrily. "You've known her for a month!"

"It's been longer than that actually-"

"But you thought she was a dude."

Devil-Souji frowned at that. "But look at her!" he whined. "You can't tell me you haven't 'thought' about _her_." he leered in Naoto's direction, a perverted grin on his face.

"Uhh…" Angel-Yosuke trailed, a thoughtful expression crossing his face.

- Because I love you. **{**

- Because we're friends.

"Not helping." Angel-Souji deadpanned.

Angel-Yosuke shook his head, trying to dispel certain images of Naoto from his mind. "That doesn't matter! Kanji had his eyes on her first! Back when he thought she was a guy. And he's still interested in case you didn't notice the hearts he randomly spouts every now and then."

Devil-Souji raised an eyebrow; silently asking "That matters how?"

"Three words man: THE BRO CODE."

Bro… Code…?

Devil-Souji blinked, as if stunned, then his eyes widened and anger flickered over his face. "WHAT THE HELL?!" he screeched, smacking Souji over the head with a golf club that suddenly appeared in his hands. "That's Kanji's girl!"

But-

"Kanji's girl!" Angel-Souji suddenly had a gold club as well. "It's against the Bro Code for you to confess to her!"

"And you've only known her for a month!" Angel-Yosuke added, helpfully.

"YOU WERE ONLY INTERESTED ONCE YOU FOUND OUT SHE WAS A GIRL!" Angel-Souji smacked the golf club against Souji's head.

"YOU JUST WANT TO BANG HER!" Devil-Souji shouted while repeatedly hitting Souji with the golf club.

- The Bro Code.

- The Bro Code.

- BroCodeBroCodeBroCodeBroCodeBroCodeBroCode-

- **THE ****BRO CODE! {**

- Because I love you.

**- Because we're friends. {  
**

Time resumed.

"Because we're friends." Souji grinned.

"… I consider you a friend as well." Naoto frowned, her temper cooling. "So… Please don't do these rash things any longer." Naoto glared at him sternly before melting into an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry for involving you in this."

"I'm starting to think we should have reversed this when we had the chance." Devil-Souji pouted, crossing his arms. Angel-Yosuke threw a monkey wrench at him. "HEY!"

"We've almost reached the end." Naoto continued. "Just a little more and it will be over."

"Yeah, Yukiko's social link was way cuter." Angel-Yosuke threw another monkey wrench but the devil merely dodged. "Once More!"

"For some reason, the thought is not a cheering one… I've never had a case like this before…" Naoto smiled helplessly.

"Or not~" Devil-Souji grinned. Angel-Souji threw the golf club at him, clubbing him in the head. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! ARE YOU A MASOCHIST?!"

"I wouldn't mind some things." Angel-Souji sneered while his devil counterpart stared.

A surge of power suddenly flowed through them both.

"Rank Up!" the devil smirked while the angel nodded approvingly, a pleased smile on his face.

"I'm going home now, I have research to do… You needn't worry about the Phantom Thief case any longer." Naoto adjusted her cap and nodded towards Souji. "I'll explain later… once everything calms down." Naoto bowed slightly before running off on her own.

"There you have it. Fortune's Arcana rank 9." Devil-Souji muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Dude, I can't believe you actually thought about romancing Naoto." Angel-Yosuke shook his head.

"Temporary lapse in judgment." Devil-Souji said. "Won't happen again."

"I can't believe Souji even thought about it though." Angel-Souji frowned. "You wouldn't have been able to edge him on if he hadn't."

"Eh, you're… he's the MC." Angel-Yosuke shrugged. "Bro Code or no, you would have gotten away with it."

"Still…" Angel-Souji muttered, his frown deepening. He blinked, an idea striking him. "He needs a scolding."

"Not my style." Devil-Souji said.

"Of course not." Angel-Souji purred. "This is going to be legend-"

"Dary." The devil finished, a smirk plastered over his face.

* * *

Souji sighed as Izanagi continued to lecture him on the virtues of Bro-dom from within his mind. This was going to last a while… Well it wasn't like he didn't deserve it. He did almost break the Bro Code.

But for three days straight?!

…

Kanji better get with Naoto. Even if Souji had to smash their faces together and lock them in a closet it was **GOING **to happen. And it was going to be Legend-wait for it-dary.

* * *

AN: ehehe... Please review? *runs and hides in closet with Rukia and Pitch Black*


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